book: making it
One - Making It - 1
Build Yourself from the Inside Out
My moment had come. I got the call.
CITY-TV in Toronto was looking for a host for their new afternoon talk show. Would I come down and audition?
Would I? I only had callouses on both fists from pounding the doors of every television station in town trying to get my own show.
The assignment: Co-host a live show with two of the station’s male personalities. There was nothing to prepare - a couple of couple of interviews, a couple of commentaries - wing it, so to speak.
On audition day I put on my lucky red dress - and slipped a black grease pencil up my sleeve. Armed with a bit of trendy pop psychology from my files about men and mustaches, I was ready to make my mark.
As the cameras rolled, I glided through my interviews and commentaries. I filled in the dead space with visual chitchat by drawing mustaches on my co-hosts and giving them a psychological rundown: Men with walrus mustaches wear boxer shorts, have false teeth, prefer oral sex and are Capricorns. Those with handlebars are usually bald, into S and M, smoke a pipe and are Libras (real heavy-duty stuff out of the back pages of Cosmo).
The kicker came just before the wrap-up, when I penciled a Don Ameche special on my own upper lip!Back to top