book: making it

Making It

One - Making It - 1

Build Yourself from the Inside Out

My moment had come. I got the call.

CITY-TV in Toronto was looking for a host for their new afternoon talk show. Would I come down and audition?


Would I? I only had callouses on both fists from pounding the doors of every television station in town trying to get my own show.

The assignment: Co-host a live show with two of the station’s male personalities. There was nothing to prepare - a couple of couple of interviews, a couple of commentaries - wing it, so to speak.

On audition day I put on my lucky red dress - and slipped a black grease pencil up my sleeve. Armed with a bit of trendy pop psychology from my files about men and mustaches, I was ready to make my mark.

As the cameras rolled, I glided through my interviews and commentaries. I filled in the dead space with visual chitchat by drawing mustaches on my co-hosts and giving them a psychological rundown: Men with walrus mustaches wear boxer shorts, have false teeth, prefer oral sex and are Capricorns. Those with handlebars are usually bald, into S and M, smoke a pipe and are Libras (real heavy-duty stuff out of the back pages of Cosmo).

The kicker came just before the wrap-up, when I penciled a Don Ameche special on my own upper lip!

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